Monday, May 17, 2004

Umm, ok

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
The quality that most appeals to you:Loyalty
In a survival situation, you:Run like hell
Your hidden talent is:Seeing the best in others
Your gift is:Irresistible attractiveness
In groups, you:Don't fit in
Your best quality is:Your creativity
Your weakness is:Your furious temper
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Yes, beware my temper. It's deadly.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Hey guess what

You can now talk back to me. This probably isn't the best idea, but whatever. I don't care what people think about me.

Please love me.

The Others

So I just googled my name and apparently I am also a conservative kindergarten teacher in North Carolina,a special education major in Valdosta who seems to like all things cutesy, and someone who really likes Walt Whitman and wrote a really bad paper about him. Though I suppose my name is not the most unusual running around out there (unlike the newly monikered Apple Blythe Alison Martin)it's a little bizarre thinking about someone out there who shares that major part of your identity. I mean are names are part of what shapes us. A Rainbow can't help but be flighty whereas a Carlton can't help but be stuffy. And yet these other Courtneys out there seem so different from me, all perky and cute. Maybe I'm the badly named Courtney. Damn you parents!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Spectator Drama

So two of my friends are fighting. Or rather two of them are attempting to fight. One has horrific fears of confrontation (which I can understand) and has been avoiding talking with the other person except for the occasional veiled blog comment. The other, after repeated attempts to talk to the other in person (one time I was actually physically present for so the other person can't even try to pretend that no contacts have been attempted, Crystal) has taken to not so veiled bitchy remarks on his own blog. Other friends have added their own two cents and now it's a whole big blog fight with everyone because one person won't talk about it in person. Got that? It's all very convuluted.

I usually try to stay out of these kinds of things because usually everyone involved in group drama comes out of it with some kind of taint. I actually enjoy a bit or drama as long as it's not happening to me (and it usually isn't because of the aforementioned staying-out-of-it) because I think it's fascinating people-watching. In my experience the people who proclaim to hate drama the most, are usually the ones who court it the most. They usually behave in ways that are so contrary to the no-drama code that it is a delicious study in people screwing themselves.

It's time to step out of the shadows and jump into the fray, because this drama is tearing long-term friendships apart over a boyfriend. Crystal, this is not about Him or whether he makes you think you're happy. This is about you. We don't want you dissapearing inside of him, throwing away everything that is you all for someone you've only known for a couple of months. Now maybe we don't know the whole story, but that's never going to happen unless you TALK to us. Key word: talk. We don't want to lose you as a friend, but by not talking to us(specifically Eric) you are saying that our friendship is not important to you. That we are not important to you. I'm not saying this as a threat, but from what I've heard, if you don't talk to them soon, you'll lose them forever. If that's fine with you, then I hope you and Christopher are together forever because everyone else may not be there when it's over. If you don't call you'll lose friendships, if you do call you could save them. This really should be a no-brainer.

Everyone else, a little less bitchiness would not be monumentally out of line. I know it stems out of frustration because you care so much, but being mean is not the most mature way to handle problems either.

Let's grow up together people, maturity is within our grasp.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to the sidelines now.

Big Surprise

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?

I don't think anyone will find this particularly shocking.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

The List

The most fun I've ever had at any job, involved a little something called, The List. Although, sadly, I was not involved in starting The List, I came to fully embrace its intoxicating pleasures for it involved two of my favorite things: complaining about rude and/or stupid people, and wishing them bodily harm. The two guys who originated The List envisioned a tv show where they wore armani suits and brought out people who annoyed them one by one. They would then proceed to beat the crap out of that person. When they were finished, they would through 50 dollar bills on the person and say "Clean yourself up you dirty bastard." Yeah, I don't really get it either.

For the next few weeks people were rushing around to add to The List. No one was safe. We put down specific known individuals, groups of people, celebrities, random customers, and even ourselves. In fact one of the founders of the list was numbers 27-76 on The List.

The list grew to over 400 entries and 5 pages before The List fervor finally died down and eventually extinguished.

Until now.

I don't care about the armani suits or 50 dollar bills (although if someone were to give me some violence-free, I wouldn't complain), but there are so many people who need some sense knocked into them and by God I'm just the person to do it. And when I say knock some sense into them, I obviously mean complain about them anonymously over the internet, so here we go (and warning: many of these will be bookstore related).

1) People who stay in my store (or any retail outlet) with young children after 10 p.m. Kids need sleep and lots of it, a minimum of 12 hours a night. That 7-8 year old girl that was in my store until 10:45 last night, should have been in bed by 9 p.m. at the very latest. This particular family is there every Friday night and I suspect it is because they want their daughter to wake up later than usual so they themselves can sleep in. While that's not the most heinous parenting ever, it's pretty selfish and I hope parents who do this are rewarded with particularly difficult teenagers.

2) Parents who sit and read magazines, or wander off to another section of the store while their kids run around and tear apart our children's department. This is not your home or a daycare, this is a public area and a place of business. I was fairly spoiled as a child, but my relatives would have been appalled if I tried to get away with half the stuff that these kids do. And then I would have gotten my ass whooped. We have to damaged out so many books that a child destroys because his or her adult supervisor is not paying attention to what they are doing.

3) People who refer to the monster from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein as Frankenstein. The doctor who made the monster is named Frankenstein, the monster itself has no name. That's part of what makes it so tragic. And scary. Yes I was an English major. What of it?

4) People who tack the word "At" on the end of a sentence as in "Where's the maps at" (yes that is actually something someone has said to me.) Now despite the English degree, I know that my grammar is not perfect, but this absolutely drives me up the freaking wall.

5) Paris Hilton. I hate that I live in a world where everybody knows who she is. Even before the whole sex tape thing I knew who she was and I hated myself for it. She has done nothing but be born rich, partied, and dress skunks.

6) People who don't tip enough. I always tip a minimum of 15% and add to that for escalating degrees of good service. Not only is this simply what my parents taught me to do, but even the worst waiter/waitress I've ever had was about 10 times better at it then I could ever be and I'm just grateful that I'm not doing it. The tipping rules vary accordingly to different kinds of services (haircuts, pizza delivery, bellhops), but these other services require adequate tipping as well. It's the classy thing to do.

There are many, many more who deserve to be on the list and I will continue to add to it periodically. So those who piss me off, watch your back.